


Adapting

by TheycallmeGabriel



Series: Guardians [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is a bee keeper, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gabriel is a babe, M/M, PTSD Gabriel, Pining, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, adapting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2613296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheycallmeGabriel/pseuds/TheycallmeGabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel and Castiel are struggling to adapt back into their old lives with Sam and Dean after the war. Sam is ecstatic to have Gabriel back, but worried sick about his friend's health. Gabriel needs a push in the right direction to find the road to recovery, and Sam is willing to give it his all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adapting

**Author's Note:**

> Whew!  
> Here you have it, the second part of the Guardians series.

It's been four and a half weeks since Gabriel and Castiel had returned home to their humans. When they had left, the thought of coming home after the war and falling back into place seemed easy enough.  
Easier said than done.  
Every single day was a challenge for Castiel and Gabriel. On the outside, they were grinning to the world, their smiles saying ' _Hey, look at me! I'm a-okay, so don't you worry about a thing!_ ' but on the inside they were fractured. The war left their grace tattered and discouraged; cracks of darkness leaving their grace looking bleak and damaged. It had ravaged the angels, leaving them with heavy hearts and a look of exhaustion in their eyes that may never go away.  
They were hurting, and they knew that if they'd told their charges, that it'd only cause worry.  
So they hid it for as long as they possibly could, until they just couldn't keep it together any longer. 

The first one to slip up was Gabriel.  
Castiel was created a warrior. He was taught how to carry his weight from the battlefield like a medal of honor, taught how to keep a grip when the going got tough, but Gabriel?  
Not so much.  
Gabriel wasn't a warrior. He wasn't taught how to carry the weight of a war, or to keep a grip.  
Gabriel is The Messenger. He was taught to carry messages, to keep a tight hold on his snark when delivering a message out of fear of disappointing Father.  
Gabriel was not built like Castiel. So as one could imagine, it would come as no surprise that the Messenger was the first to slip.  
The four were in the kitchen making dinner when it had happened.  
Dean had just finished up taking the rolls out of the oven while Castiel helped Sam chop up some carrots. Gabriel was in charge of setting up the table. It was a simple task, an easy one that anyone could handle. But while in the midst of placing a sleek, silver butter knife beside Castiel's plate, he froze, staring off into space with a blank, faraway look in his whisky eyes. It wasn't long before the other three noticed. It was Dean at first, when he turned to ask Gabriel a question. Sam and Castiel quickly followed suit, which led to two puzzled stares and a rather worried gaze.  
Castiel held Dean back when he tried to approach the Archangel, simply giving a shake of his head before cautiously moving to his brother's side. All it had took was a hand on his shoulder and the feeling of another angel's grace behind him to snap, and in a matter of seconds and a few surprised shouts, Castiel's back was pressed to the floor, a pair of petrified eyes of gold pinning the other angel in a crazed gaze while a knife was pressed to the neck of Castiel's vessel.  
Everything went silent after that, and it wasn't long before Gabriel was spewing apologies to his little brother and making poor excuses to their humans.  
Neither Winchester bought it. 

The second slip up was courtesy of Castiel.  
Angels didn't dream.  
They couldn't sleep. The closest they could possibly get was in the form of meditation.  
But apparently sleep was a side effect of the exhaustion brought on by warfare.  
As it's always been, the Winchesters retired to their rooms as usual for sleep while Gabriel and Castiel retired to their own room so they could entertain themselves silently while their charges slept four rooms away.  
Gabriel had decided to go roam the town out of boredom whilst Castiel chose to stay behind and catch up with his reading. Half-way through Good Omens and Castiel's eyelids began to droop, then close.  
And before he knew it, a pair of strong arms were shaking him like a ragdoll.  
When those unnaturally blue eyes opened once more, it was to the sight of two terrified humans and one petrified Archangel. Castiel's shouts had woken Sam and Dean, whos terrified prayers had Gabriel flying to the scene, watching in horror as Dean frantically attempted to stop Castiel's violent thrashing.  
No amount of excuses could deter Sam and Dean this time, so they were forced to confess to the Winchesters just how damaged the war had left them.  
The following six weeks were spent in therapy sessions with Naomi, a second class seraph who dealt with cases like theirs.  
Dean had gotten Castiel a hobby in the form of bee keeping and it wasn't long before the fourth class seraph was making progress in his recovery.  
Gabriel, however, seemed to be recovering at a much slower pace.

### Present.

"Sammy, have you seen my damn keys? I can't seem to find 'em anywhere."   
Sam was lounging on the couch, book tucked neatly in his lap when Dean blew in from the kitchen, looking disgruntled.   
"Did you check the dining room?" Sam patiently asked, watching in slight amusement as Dean made an odd face, disappearing down the hall before returning, keys in hand.   
The amusement on his face had Dean muttering a quick 'shut up' before heading out of the front door.   
The angels were gone, left to Heaven for a meeting with Naomi, leaving Sam home alone. He didn't mind it, after all, everyone needed their alone time. Sam spent the next hour reading before his head began to throb, pushing him to the bathroom for a shower.   
The spray of the water was enough to sooth his headache and relax his muscles. Gabriel was starting to act like his old self again, which lifted a huge weight Sam hadn't known he'd had off of his shoulders.   
Castiel was almost fully recovered, and Gabriel was showing signs of improvement every day, which meant that Sam could start to relax.   
Gabriel.   
The Archangel's name alone was enough to bring back the memories of his not-so-innocent dream last night.   
Sam's cock twitched interestingly at the memory, hardening at the images of Gabriel's snarky mouth stretched around his length, golden eyes locked with Sam's with every swallow, darkened with lust.   
Heaving a shaky sigh, Sam slid a hand down to grab ahold of his shaft, giving a few experimental tugs as the rest of the dream came back to him. Gabriel, slotting against Sam's body like a puzzle piece, remaining firmly in place as Sam kissed the smirk off of the Archangel's face. Gabriel, bracing his hands on Sam's broad chest as he slowly sank down on the human's cock, bottom lip tugged between his teeth. Sam, grabbing ahold of the Archangel-- _His_ Archangel's hips as he thrust up into Gabriel's tight ass. Gabriel, head thrown back and mouth parted in a silent scream.   
Sam's breathing began to grow shallow as he fucked his own fist, the other shoved in his mouth to muffle his groans.   
An image Gabriel's mischievous smirk and twinkling whisky eyes had Sam cumming into his fist, shouting a garbled version of The Messenger's name as he splattered the shower wall in front of him in hot cum.   
Sated, Sam finished cleaning himself as well as the shower wall before stepping out of the shower and into a fluffy towel. He quickly dried himself, slipping on his favorite pair of sweats, deciding to forgo his shirt. Dean was gone; probably out shopping and the angels weren't due back for another two hours, leaving Sam the freedom to walk the empty house however he liked. He had to work tomorrow, might as well spend his day off in comfortability.   
Sam had just finished up reading some book about two sisters hunting monsters while searching for their missing mother when a rustle of wings in the hall alerted him to the arrival of an angel. Gabriel shuffled into the living room moments later, giving a low whistle of appreciation.   
"Wowza, Sammich! And here I thought you were just a boring 'ole lawyer."   
"Shut up." Sam grumbled his reply, looking at a t-shirt folded beside him in disdain before slipping it on. When he finally looked back up at Gabriel, the Archangel was staring at the floor beneath his feet, that faraway look back in his eyes.   
"Gabe..?" Sam stood slowly before making his way to his friend, one hand reaching out cautiously. When Sam's hand finally made contact with Gabriel's shoulder, it was gentle and coaxing, pulling Gabriel out of his reverie.   
"You okay?" Sam's hazel eyes were warm and filled with worry, narrowing slightly when his friend gave one of those ridiculously faux grins.   
"'Course I am, Samantha."   
Sam didn't bother to smile at Gabriel's harmless banter, just continued to stare until finally the Archangel heaved a tired sigh, wiping a hand over his face.   
"I really am, Sam. Just tired. Naomi'll do that to ya." A huff "Can I go stuff my face with your brother's pie now?"   
As much as Sam hated the idea of dropping the conversation, he knew that if he didn't Gabriel would pitch a fit. So after a moment of reluctance, he nodded his consent, dropping his hand from the other's shoulder. Gabriel disappeared into the kitchen moments later, and didn't return. 

Gabriel was avoiding Sam.  
A small part of Sam believed that Gabriel wouldn't do that to him, his best friend. But as the days went by, that part of him was diminishing.   
The two of them were never in the same room together for more than a few minuets before Gabriel made up an excuse to leave. Gabriel was always disappearing at dinner time, leaving the three others to sit and eat without Gabriel's warm presence.   
Angels didn't need to eat, but dinner was a traditional thing since the two angels showed up.   
Dean and Cas didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care, but it bugged Sam. Gabriel never once missed dinner time, even when the two angels came back from the war. It worried Sam just as much as it annoyed him. What the hell did he do to get the cold shoulder?   
When Sam finally brought it up to Cas one night when Dean was working over, the seraph told him not to worry. Gabriel was recovering slower than expected, and Castiel said to give Gabriel time.  
So Sam did. He dropped it and went back to his everyday activities, albeit more sour than usual. He gave Gabriel time, then gave him more time, and then some more, until after a month-- A Goddamn _month!_ \- Sam finally decided to do something about it.   
He was sitting in his room, as per usual, thinking about what to say when Gabriel himself appeared in his room near the window.  
Sam wanted to say something snarky, something along the lines of _"Well, look who decided to show up"_ , but it died in his throat at the sight of sheer pain and panic written across his friend's face.  
"Sam, look I'm sorry I've been avoiding you and I'm-- I'm sorry for being a horrible friend, and a horrible guardian, and just bein' all around horrible to you, and-"   
Sam didn't know what to do when Gabriel started pacing.   
"You got every right to be pissed at me, you do- And I know that you are probably feelin' hurt, Sam, and I don't blame you if you tell me to get out--"  
"Gabriel."  
"I mean- Why wouldn't you kick me out? I'm always rude and sarcastic, and I eat all of your sugar packets! I leave wrappers on the floor even when there's a fuckin' trash can two feet in front of my face--"  
"Gabriel--"   
"--I don't even know why I put your goldfish in that blender one day--"  
" _Gabri--_ "  
"And to top it all of, I'm a monster."   
The room fell into silence.   
The way Gabriel looked at him when he finally stopped pacing had Sam's heart in an iron grip. Gabriel was snarky and sarcastic, witty and sly-   
But this Gabriel was entirely different. Something entirely new and it terrified Sam in a way that he couldn't even begin to comprehend.   
This wasn't his Gabriel.   
His Gabriel was larger than life, not tiny and vulnerable like the creature trembling before him. Gabriel has been by Sam's side for years, and not once has he seen Gabriel look so troubled and haunted. 

"I killed my little brothers, Sam. Slaughtered my little sisters-- Their blood is on _my_ hands."   
Sam sat on his bed, completely frozen in place as Gabriel stared down at his shaky hands.   
"My _siblings,_ Sammy.."  
Sam could feel his heart shatter as Gabriel broke down in front of him. Sam loved Gabriel's eyes, but couldn't bear to look at them filled with so much pain and self-hatred. He loved Gabriel's broad shoulders, but hated the way the slumped and trembled, hunching as if Gabriel were completely trying to curl in on himself. Sam loved Gabriel's mouth, but couldn't handle seeing them in the form of a trembling frown.   
Sam loved everything about Gabriel, and he just couldn't stand to see him like this.   
"Sam, I'm _scared.._ "   
In a matter of seconds, Sam was across the room, arms snaking around the other's shaky form as he murmured soft nothings into the Archangel's ear.   
"Shh, I got you Gabe. It's okay now, It's over, and you'll never have to-- _Shit_ \-- I'm not letting them make you do that again, I _promise_." Sam's voice cracked as he felt Gabriel's hands wrapping around his forearms, holding him in place.   
They stayed that way for a while, Gabriel a hiccuping mess and Sam feeling heartsick for his Archangel. After a little while longer, Sam tilted Gabriel's head back to stare into those whiskey eyes he's fallen in love with.   
"I'm right here, Gabe. I'm not going anywhere. You'll get through this-- We'll get through this together, alright? You don't have to go through this alone." Sam ran his thumb over Gabriel's stubbled cheek, leaning in to press their foreheads together to show that he's _here_ , and that he'll always be here.

"Will-- Can you do something? Something to distract me so that I don't hafta think about it anymore?" Gabriel's voice was quiet and miserable, causing the Winchester's chest to clench painfully.   
"Of course I can." Without really thinking about it, Sam pressed a soft kiss to the skin of Gabriel's forehead before corralling him to the bed to sit.   
Sam began to reach for a book on the shelf nearby when Gabriel's hand caught his arm, stealing it away from Sam to pull against his chest, hugging it. Despite the situation, Sam couldn't help the explosion of butterflies erupting in his stomach. Sam pushed down the feeling to reach for another book, and without another word, flipped open to the first page and began reading. 

They blew through the book in four hours, Sam sitting comfortably against the headboard and Gabriel clinging to Sam's arm as if his life depending on it. If you took a look at the situation, it wouldn't be inaccurate.   
Sam had just finished reading the last sentence when Gabriel, voice much louder and less broken murmured into Sam's shoulder. "Thank you, Sam. I 'preciate it."   
He spared the smallest of smiles for his friend, turning his head to look at the Archangel buried into his shoulder, seeing whisky hues staring back.   
Sam had just opened his mouth to reply back when suddenly Gabriel's mouth was on his, warm and firm and so very unexpected that it took a while for Sam to understand the gravity of the situation before him.  
This was Gabriel kissing him.   
_Gabriel_.  
And oh _God_ , it was everything he imagined and much, much more. Gabriel tasted like cherries and warm summer nights with fireworks and bon fires. His lips were soft and moist, gentle and caressing, passionate and warm and oh so very _Gabriel_ that Sam felt his heart skip an entire beat before attempting to pound it's way through his chest.   
Gabriel tasted like Gabriel.   
Gabriel tasted like home.  
It was over too soon, far too soon for Sam's liking. 

The look of pure wonder on Sam's face was astonishing as he scrambled to find the right words to say to the Archangel. But that vulnerable look on Gabriel's face was back, and Sam suddenly found himself realizing that words weren't needed, weren't so useful in this situation, so he did what his heart told him to do.   
He wrapped his arms around Gabriel's small frame and kissed him with all he had, trying to show Gabriel with actions and not words; just how much Gabriel meant to him. Just how far Sam would go for the Archangel, how he'd travel to the ends of the Earth and back, because he'll always be by Gabriel's side, if the Archangel would just let him. To show him that no matter where he goes, Sam will be there, because wherever Gabriel is, Sam wants to be there, too.   
Wherever Gabriel goes, Sam will follow, because wherever Gabriel is will always be home, because for Sam, Gabriel is home.   
Gabriel gave an uncharacteristic whimper, and Sam swallowed it down happily. This was real, this was _right_. Their lips slotted together like two puzzle pieces, always in perfect sync. It all felt so surreal, and Sam just couldn't get enough. Kissing Gabriel was addicting, impossibly so, that in fact, that he found himself scared of the thought of stopping.   
Gabriel gave as good as he gets, Sam realized as he suddenly found himself with a lapful of one very enthusiastic Archangel. Sam's dreamt about this before plenty of times, but they dulled in comparison to the real thing. Sam didn't want to stop, never wanted to stop, but the burning in his lungs grew until it became unbearable and Sam reluctantly pulled away, swallowing as much air as he possibly could. He would be lying if he said that he didn't thoroughly enjoy the sight of Gabriel when he pulled away; cheeks flushed, whiskey eyes now a hazy gold, red, swollen lips...   
Just because he could, Sam leaned in once more to quickly peck Gabriel's lips before peppering kisses all over the other's face. He could feel a smile form on Gabriel's face when he kissed the Archangel's cheek, and couldn't help but give a smile of his own.   
This was about Gabriel.   
Tonight isn't about finally getting what he's always wanted, it was about showing Gabriel that he was not going anywhere. It was about distractions and affection in the form of actions.  
So Sam stripped them both down to their boxers and kissed every single inch of exposed skin. He ran the pads of his fingers down Gabriel's ribs just to hear that comfortable sigh. He spent hours showing Gabriel that he was here, and here to stay. That Gabriel wasn't a monster, but a thing of beauty worthy of worship. And when their lips met, sparks would fly and Sam would find himself lost in the taste of Gabriel's mouth. He took Gabriel apart, piece by piece before piecing him back together again, lacing himself into those cracks and fractures in Gabriel's grace until he was a piece of the grace itself. Sam engraved himself into Gabriel's very being until their kissing felt as natural as breathing. Their kisses eventually became lazy and languid as they fell to exhaustion, and after that breakdown, Sam knew that Gabriel would need rest.   
So he wrapped Gabriel up snug and warm against his chest, and gently ran his fingers through those messy carmel locks until Sam could hear soft snoring coming from the body pressed against his. Only then did Sam began to drift off, feeling lighter than air.

They awoke in a tangled mess of limbs, but neither cared to move. So there they stayed, locked in one another's embrace until Gabriel decided to repay last night's favor by picking Sam apart piece by piece before putting him back together again. But Gabriel was having trouble piecing himself into Sam, because he was already there.  


**Author's Note:**

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